Keep working out or have a tummy tuck? What a dilemma. After three large pregnancies, weight loss, weight gain, loss and gain, again and again, stress and a number of other excuses for not taking care of myself, I finally got my diet right, lost about 60 pounds and was left with a rather large flap of skin and fat protruding from my midsection and partially covering my va'jayjay. I had been working as hard as I possibly could - mostly running and eventually a few months of CrossFit - and everything on my body was responding except for my giant flap. After thinking about it and talking about it for a looong time (a bad habit), I finally saw a plastic surgeon to see what my options were. I did not want a full tummy tuck at this point because I didn't want the long down-time to interfere with my fitness goals. Her first words upon seeing my "Flapper Large Marge" were, "Liposuction won't do you any good because this is mostly skin..." A compliment, to be sure, though I still look down and see a big tub of fat. But, she's the professional so I'm just gonna roll with it.
Her assessment of what she could do and what I could expect was almost too good to be true. Somehow, after all these years of yo-yoing weight and skin stretching, I had subconsciously accepted that this was how I was going to look for the rest of my life. Sure, I talked a good game about getting fit and trim, and I saved my size 10 jeans from high school and post-pregnancy #1. Inside, though, I knew those jeans were just going to hang in the closet as a constant reminder of how miserably I had failed my own health. Suddenly, here was this fit, trim, beautiful, confident, professional woman telling me that it's about to get way better. I wanted to shout from a mountain top with glee, but held it close, savoring the possibility of a normal stomach ever so slowly. I told a few close friends about the appointment, and discussed it with my husband. As always, he was supportive and excited for me and encouraged me to consider the procedure, despite the cost.
Since we're at the cost part, let's get that out of the way. $6150, which included the surgeon, anesthesiologist, and the hospital, and the compression garment (so far). My insurance covered my prescriptions, but nothing else. I searched the web for weeks and find the cost does vary considerably with the surgeon and what region of the country he/she practices. I also found over and over, you get what you pay for. After much research, I felt that the price tag for my particular scenario was a fair price, especially considering the experience level of my surgeon and how I felt about what she said she could do for me.
After deciding on how to pay for the procedure, I scheduled the surgery and started writing checks. Everything was paid in advance. We did qualify for the GE Money Bank Care Credit, but, for various reasons, decided to just pay cash. I saw the surgeon on August 25th and scheduled my surgery for September 23rd. I could have done it Labor Day Friday, but already had plans to celebrate our daughter's 18th birthday that weekend. I had one more office appointment to finalize the paperwork and take "before pictures" for their file.
The cute young lady who came in to take my before pictures got her camera ready and told me to throw the sheet I had wrapped around me onto the counter nearby. At this point, I had no pride left. I threw the sheet aside and there I stood in all my glory. Her first words were, "Wow! I didn't know you had all that!" She snapped pictures, had me turn this way and that, while she continued expressing her innocent surprise at how well I hid my flap in my clothes. She tried to turn it into a compliment, then apologized. No pride, no problem. I just had to laugh and wonder how I managed to get to this point.
The weeks of waiting for my surgery date were filled with a roller coaster of emotions. The guilt of spending so much money on myself, on my vanity as I saw it, was overwhelming at times, even as I knew it was a small price to pay for what I would end up with. Once I accepted that I was worth it and that my wonderful husband deserved it, too, I wanted the surgery YESTERDAY. It consumed my thoughts night and day. I know my friends and family were sick of hearing me talk about it. Why so much emotion? 'Cause it's a BIG DEAL. All those years of living with the Flapper Large Marge had changed me into someone I wasn't meant to be. It's a natural progression, I guess, but still not the direction I should have been progressing.
I started looking at clothes differently, looking sadly at the collection of "flap covers" in my own closet, and allowing myself for the first time in 18 years to imagine how I would look in a fitted blouse or a pair of jeans with a shirt tucked in. A few days before my surgery I went into Cache, a store with beautiful clothes that I could only dream of ever wearing. I picked out some items that I will go back for when I am off the tubes and out of the padded compression garments. I wanted to buy them right then, but not really sure what size I'll be wearing, and I certainly don't want to miss out on spending an hour in the dressing room trying on all those beautiful clothes. My self-confidence has slowing increased to the point where I felt unstoppable, and that was BEFORE the big day. I can only imagine how my outlook will continue to improve over the next few months as my new figure slowly emerges.
Next up...The Big Day.
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